“I did an interview for GQ magazine. We talked for some time. The journalist even taped it. What could go wrong? I’ll tell you what can go wrong. They introduce the piece with this quote; ‘Ricky Gervais once said “I came to this business uneducated, 5’6″, dyslexic, with a face like a squashed cabbage. And they welcomed me with open arms’.

“No he f**king didn’t! Why the f**k would he? He came to this business with a f**king degree in Philosophy, not dyslexic, 5’8″ with a face like… OK the last bit is fine. But the rest is b**locks and I never said it.

“Where did they get that from? Why didn’t they ask me if I said that when we were in the same c**ting room for a b**tard hour?

“I put the quote into Google. I found this; ‘I came into this business uneducated, dyslexic, 5ft 6in, cubic, with a face like a squashed cabbage and they welcomed me with open arms.’ Actor Bob Hoskins.

“How f**king hard was that?”

….on being pissed with the GQ Interview.  Kind of obvious I know.  I still think Ricky is hot.

Update:

So, firstly I feel I should say how impressed I am with the good people at GQ. They not only acknowledged their tiny mistake but apologised and printed an online retraction.

I pointed out to them that my rant was as much for comic effect as it was angry and that they had already shown more honour and integrity than most by even replying.

Cheers GQ. The article is great by the way and the David Bailey shot is “super cool”. (As young folk would say. Or they used to anyway. I’m not sure what they say any more. Almost certainly not “super cool”.)

Thank you.

Secondly, I’m now in trouble for having a go at fat people on Letterman. I shouldn’t have said that eating too much is their own fault apparently. No. No of course it isn’t. Someone held them all down, stuck a funnel in their mouth and poured liquid cake into it like a fucking fois gras goose. Poor bastards. All they wanted to do was go for a run and eat lettuce.

Thank you.