In case your stomach has turned enough with the news that Michael Lohan is marrying Jon Gosselin’s ex Kate Major, he now provides us with WAY too much information by admitting he and Kate bump uglies 4 times a night in a bid to knock her up:

“Kate wants a baby. Since I’m getting no younger, we practice We agreed, that if she does get pregnant, one is enough.”

He told Access Hollywood:

“The wedding will be at Oheka Castle on Long Island. I hope that Lindsay and the rest of my kids will be there if Dina doesn’t thwart it like she did my dad’s funeral. Some things in life are sacred, yet some know what that word means. Such as family.”

Call me crazy, but methinks Lindsay won’t be attending when her reaction to the engagement was:

“I’m gonna vomit! I so didn’t need that info… Yuck!”

By the way, that is Michael Lohan dry humping porn star Gina Lynn in Philadelphia. They were at the South Philly’s Bar and Grill where a boxing match was to have taken place between Jesse James’ mistress Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee and Jon Gosselin’s other ex girlfriend Hailey Glassman as well as Gina Lynn on May 7.

I could quite possibly have this story completely wrong.  Usually when I have zero interest in something I really don’t pay attention.  At all.  My mind wonders to Kiefer Sutherland or something else that will make me not want to poke my eyes out.

The girl that family man Michael Lohan is NOT groping and getting all boned up over is his fiancee Kate Major. Yup.  That marriage is so going to work.

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Photos:  Hugh Dillon/WENN