If I hear another false alarm on Beyonce and Jay-Z being pregnant, I am going to throw a sharp object at someone.  Watch out!  Seriously, yesterday they were happy/surprised to be having a baby.  Today is a whole new story.

Beyonce’s mom, Tina Knowles went on today’s Ellen show and cleared the air for her non-expectant daughter and son-in-law saying,

“It’s not true. Not right now.”

And then she confessed that she’s actually the one that’s pregnant.  OMG.  Can you imagine if that were the truth.  Thankfully she was just making light of the situation.  But really?  Why can’t they just get pregnant already and let this circular story die?

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All of the rumors about the stars being pregnant, not being pregnant….man they drive me nuts!  Like Mariah Carey!  Is she porking out for fun?  Or is there another person in there causing the “new look”?  I need the truth!  And that’s not happening until Mariah says it herself.

The next round of Beyonce pregnancy rumors are going out the window till the girl announces it herself.

Photo: Anthony Dixon/WENN

Now this is getting a little bit on the creepy side don’t you think?  Ashton Kutcher has completely denied that he had an affair with 21-year-old Brittney Jones.  Demi Moore is standing by her man for one reason or another.  I think the cougar likes her young, fresh “meat” and isn’t willing to give it up to the skanky Jones.

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But could someone please explain to me why Brittney is posing for bikini shots of herself, just like her alleged side dishes wife?  If Jones is trying to show Ashton that she’s got a better bod than Demi, it’s not working.  I don’t know that many women out there could compete with Demi Moore’s physique.

Is Ashton Kutcher being honest?  Is this picture just what he needed to prove that Brittney Jones is actually a crazy stalker?  I’m starting to believe there is a cuckoo clock in the mix….

What do you think?  Is Ashton cheating on his cougar wife with the crazy Brittney?

Photos: TMZ

Talk about a total shocker.  Little Miss Sunshine’s Abigail Breslin isn’t looking quite as “sunshiney” these days.  Immersing herself into teenager-hood at the age of 14, Breslin is being featured in the debut issue of Bullett Magazine.

If I am being completely honest, this photo is a bit on the frightening side.  It is kind of reminding me of Dakota Fanning growing up, but on the ‘dark side.’  I can only hope this look is purely for the magazine and that Abigail Breslin is still sugar and spice in real life.

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Thankfully Breslin keeps her clothes on no matter how depressing they might be.  This magazine sports some topless photos of their models, showing some of the fashion choices that common folk like myself wouldn’t be caught dead in.  And hello, what’s with the topless shots?  Do you want readers to see the fashion?  They aren’t looking at that scarf when there’s a big boob in their face!

Taylor Momsen, Cindy Crawford, Elizabeth Banks, and model Padma Lakshmi are also featured in this daring new magazine.

Photo: Bullett

Mark Cuban was seen having dinner with Jersey Shore’s Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino in the Meat Packing district of New York along with The Situation’s business people and all eyes were on Mark hanging onto his every word (and rightly so given how successful he is) according to a witness. Kind of like a scene right out of Entourage, huh?

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The Situation is has a lot of offers that include a book deal, a workout DVD, a sponsorship with protein-infused Devotion Vodka, and a potential deal to become a part-owner of a gym in the Plaza Hotel. At least he and his people had enough sense to seek out someone in the know.

Mark told The New York Post:

I wasn’t sure what to expect when he wanted to meet, but he is really into the business side of things. [Sorrentino] had a ton of questions about running his businesses, branding, and how to invest his money.” (But he said they didn’t discuss working together): “He doesn’t need a job. He just needs to surround himself with smart people who make sure the deals he does do are good deals. And from what we talked about, it sounds like he has done that.”

That’s actually very impressive.  And kind of depressing at the same time.

Photo:  JDH/WENN

I’m not sure whether I should laugh or be frightened for the little guy growing inside of Lily Allen. I mean I know there is the unknown with never having a child and being pregnant (okay not from first-hand experience but it makes sense) but wouldn’t it be prudent to have things lined up just in case? You know, so that you don’t add to the stress of being sleep-deprived and all emo?

Although she is looking forward to being a parent she doesn’t know what frame of mind she’ll be after giving birth:

“I don’t like questions about the future because I don’t know where my head’s going to be. I can’t really say anything because I’ve never had a baby before and I don’t know what I’m going to do,” the celebrity told Stylist magazine.

“I can’t even say I’m not going to have a nanny or I’m going to be with the kids five days a week because I’ve got no f**king idea until I get to do it.”

I have no idea from one PMS’d month to the next whether the urge to chase someone down the street with an axe will strike me, but you can be rest-assured I have one on hand just in case.  I mean, duh.  Isn’t that what being prepared just in case is all about?

Photo:  WENN

Recently GQ featured Glee’s Dianna Agron, Cory Monteith and Lea Michelle on their cover (and in a photo spread) in a very provocative pose and wardrobe that had parent groups all up in arms over it. Sure it’s sexy and pushes the envelope but we aren’t dealing with minors here.

I like what Dianna had to say about the controversy:

“I’d like to start by saying that these are solely my thoughts on the November issue of GQ and the controversy that has surrounded its release. I am not a representative of the three of us, the show, or Fox, only myself.

In the land of Madonna, Britney, Miley, Gossip Girl, other public figures and shows that have pushed the envelope and challenged the levels of comfort in their viewers and fans… we are not the first. Now, in perpetuating the type of images that evoke these kind of emotions, I am sorry. If you are hurt or these photos make you uncomfortable, it was never our intention. And if your eight-year-old has a copy of our GQ cover in hand, again I am sorry. But I would have to ask, how on earth did it get there?

I was a very sheltered child, and was not aware of anything provocative or risque in the media while I was navigating through my formative years. When I was finally allowed to watch a movie like Grease, I did not even understand what on earth Rizzo was talking about!? I understand that in today’s world of advanced technology, the internet, our kids can be subject to very adult material at the click of a button. But there are parental locks, and ways to get around this. I am twenty-four years old. I have been a pretty tame and easy-going girl my whole life. Nobody is perfect, and these photos do not represent who I am. I am also not the girl who rolls out of bed with flawless makeup and couture clothing. I am most comfortable with my hair thrown on top of my head, in sweats, laughing with my friends. Glee is a show that represents the underdogs, which is a feeling I have embraced much of my own life, and to those viewers, the photos in GQ don’t give them that same feeling. I understand completely.

For GQ, they asked us to play very heightened versions of our school characters. A ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ version. At the time, it wasn’t my favorite idea, but I did not walk away. I must say, I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate. I’m moving forward from this one, and after today, putting it to rest. I am only myself, I can only be me. These aren’t photos I am going to frame and put on my desk, but hey, nor are any of the photos I take for magazines. Those are all characters we’ve played for this crazy job, one that I love and am so fortunate to have, each and every day. If you asked me for my dream photo shoot, I’d be in a treehouse, in a wild costume, war-paint and I’d be playing with my pet dragon. Until then…..”

Omg! I thought I was the only one who had a pet dragon