Allow me to introduce to you award winning gossip columnist Myrddin Gwynedd (or MG for short) from www.ohthescandal.com . Besides being award-winning, he’s charming, handsome and wickedly funny. He’s going to be coming over to INMF weekly for a slumber party, if you will.  We are honoured to have him crash the party!

Charlie Sheen wishes Ashton Kutcher well as the Punk’d star takes on his old job in Two and a Half Men.

Not ruddy likely.

The CBS network confirmed on Friday that Kutcher, 33, had signed a deal with producers Warner Bros to star in the TV show.

So what’s embattled Sheen saying about Kutcher taking his old job? Put it this way, he is not a happy bunny.

Duh, winning? More like ‘Duh, whining.’

“Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer,” he says in a statement. Awww, how sweet of him to say so. But then comes the backhanded compliment. He adds: “Oh wait, so am I!”

He then went on to wish America the best, while predicting a steep drop in the ratings.

“Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton,” he added, referring to his frenemy and show creator, Chuck Lorre. “There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there.”

For you, Sheen. Just you.

A gracious Kutcher also issued a statement about his new job.

“I can’t wait to get to work with this ridiculously talented 2.5 team and I believe we can fill the stage with laughter that will echo in viewers’ homes,” Kutcher said in a statement.

“I can’t replace Charlie Sheen but I’m going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people!”

Lorre also praised his new hire.

“We are so lucky to have someone as talented, joyful and just plain remarkable as Ashton joining our family,” Lorre said. “Added to that is the deep sigh of relief knowing that our family stays together. If I was any happier, it’d be illegal.”

Duh, winning!

Meanwhile, TMZclaims that Kutcher will only get a fraction of Sheen’s $2 million-an-episode paycheck. ”We’ve learned Ashton will get more than half – more than $625,000 – but less than $900,000,” says the website.

Hardly peanuts, and better than a slap in the face or a kick up the Khyber, as my nana used to say.

So far, Sheen has remained silent on Twitter over the new appointment. But that won’t last. You can’t keep a good one down for long.

What do you make of Kutcher joining the show? Will you be tuning in?

That’s it for this week, my Ineedmyfixers. Until next week. Be good. And if you can’t be good, be careful

MG

www.ohthescandal.com

Photo: WENN