There’s a whole cache of new character posters for Paul W. S. Anderson’s reimagining of Alexandre Dumas’ The Three Musketeers that have just come online. I’ve been skeptical about this film since the first time I heard about it, more so after viewing the teaser trailer and seeing some of the first posters.  Yesterday I saw a “standup” at my local theater and I’m not kidding, Ray Stevenson alone may get me in to see the movie. Okay…Ray and Luke Evans and Matthew Macfadyen and Christoph Waltz and Mads Mikkelsen. But not Logan Lerman nor Orlando Bloom and certainly not Milla Jovovich.

For those (thankfully) unaware of the original novel, the plot of Anderson’s film involves the hot-headed young D’Artagnan (Lerman) along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers (Macfadyen, Evans, Stevenson) who must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent (Jovovich) and her villainous employer (Waltz) from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war. On paper that sounds like a lot of fun!

I’m still waiting for another trailer, one that focuses more on some good old fashioned swashbuckling rather than flying ships and ninja assassins in pearls and powdered wig. Anyway, without further ado, here are the newest teasers for The Three Musketeers which ponces into theaters in the UK on 12 October and in the US on October 21.

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Jennifer Lopez is teaming up with Kohl’s to provide us with her apparel, accessories and home collection available both in stores and online in September. If Jennifer Lopez is designing shoes, and they ship Internationally I think I’m in really big trouble with my husband.

You can have a sneak peek at the collection at Kohls.com and it is totally Jennifer. Everything JLo touches turns to gold and I bet this is no different. I don’t know about you but I’m super stoked to see what she brings to the table.

Check out these promo videos for the collection. They’re pretty funny.

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I just saw a trailer for a movie I’d never even heard of. It’s called The Double and it stars Richard Gere, Topher Grace and Martin Sheen. It’s the directorial debut Michael Brandt, the writer of 3:10 to Yuma and Wanted. You’d think he’d at least know how to tell a story.

The official synopsis: In The Double, the mysterious murder of a US senator bearing the distinctive trademark of the legendary Soviet assassin “Cassius,” forces Paul Shepherdson (Richard Gere), a retired CIA operative, to team with rookie FBI agent, Ben Geary (Topher Grace), to solve the crime. Having spent his career chasing Cassius, Shepherdson is convinced his nemesis is long dead, but is pushed to take on the case by his former supervisor, Tom Highland (Martin Sheen). Meanwhile, Agent Geary, who wrote his Master’s thesis on Shepherdson’s pursuit of the Soviet killer, is certain that Cassius has resurfaced. As Shepherdson and Geary work their way through crimes both past and present, they discover that Cassius may not be the person they always thought him to be, forcing both to re-examine everything and everyone around them.

This all sounds great and it definitely piqued my interest. The problem isn’t with any of the above, it’s with the trailer. From the first time Gere opens his mouth it reminded me of another Gere vehicle, The Jackal, only this time there’s no faux Irish accent. But here’s the thing…Do not watch this trailer if you don’t want to know absolutely everything that happens in the movie. Unless there is a really HUGE plot twist that will spin what we see here on its ear, there’s no reason to see the film after viewing this trailer. None.

So? Am I right? What are your thoughts?  The Double also stars Odette Yustman and Stephen Moyer and opens September 23 in the US. (If this gets a wide release with absolutely no buildup, I am gonna be PISSED when Machine Gun Preacher opens on the same day in NY and LA only. But maybe that’s just me.)

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Photo

Christina Milian (who turns the big 30 on September 26) took daughter Violet shopping at Fred Segals teaching this lucky little Angel that shoes are a little piece of heaven (she’s a girl after my own heart).

Christina’s daughter is just so cute isn’t she? Violet’s dad is The Dream who Christina was married to briefly. She was 1 on February 26 and nine days later The Dream filed for divorce. At least that brief union created this cutie.

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Photos: Beiny/Slater/WENN

“Courage is stronger than steel.”

Dreamworks has released some new promo pics (essentially caps from the trailer) and a brand new poster for its Hugh Jackman starrerReal Steel, directed by Shawn Levy.  You’ll notice my lack of exclamation points and enthusiasm. That poster is so bad you can’t even tell that’s (the lovely) Hugh Jackman. It looks like Richard Armitage to me. And that’s just wrong. Please don’t misunderstand, I love Richard Armitage, but he and Hugh Jackman are very different people. I should not be able to confuse the two.

Dreamworks, you know I adore you. You gave the world How to Train Your Dragon so I can’t ever quit you completely, but come on. I know Detroit needs the money, but couldn’t you have chosen a better vehicle to showcase their film industry? Something along the lines of Relativity’s Machine Gun Preacher perhaps? I could be wrong, lord knows I’ve been wrong before, but this looks like pure caca.

The synopsis: In the “future”, where robot boxing is a popular sport, a struggling promoter (Jackman) thinks he’s found a champion in a discarded robot. During his hopeful rise to the top, he also discovers he has an 11-year-old son who wants to know his father.

Get out the hankies.

Real Steel also stars Evangeline Lily (who claimed she was going to quit acting after “Lost”. This is what she chose to do instead), Anthony Mackie, Kevin Durand, James Rebhorn, Phil LaMarr and Hope Davis. It opens in Canada and the US on October 7 and in the UK on 14 October.

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