January 25th, 2012 at 8:29 pm by
Sheri
I have no words. Well…almost. Seriously, after the trailer for Kirk Jones’ What to Expect When You’re Expecting that we showed you last month, I didn’t think it could get worse. Then I saw these posters. Are they photographs or are they cartoons? And as if the current trend toward airbrushing any character or distinction out of the faces of already beautiful people wasn’t bad enough, they’re all clutching their fake baby bumps with beatific smiles on their bland faces. All except JLo, who probably refused to look “fat”. (I'm kidding, her character adopts)
And the captions! I can only assume these are actual lines that these characters are forced to say in the context of the movie. Frankly I’m stunned. I said I stared at the trailer in “slack-jawed wonder”, I have no words for what my expression must have been as I clicked on these posters one by one.
The film is based on the popular non-fiction self-help book by Heidi Murkoff, that has this innocuous plot summary: “A look at the lives of five couples as they prepare to become parents.” Now let’s see what the official synopsis is for this He’s Just Not that Into You/Valentine’s Day/New Year’s Eve celebrity mashup. (It’s like The Loveboat set in a maternity ward.)
Over the moon about starting a family, TV fitness guru Jules (Cameron Diaz) and dance show star Evan (Matthew Morrison) find that their high-octane celebrity lives don't stand a chance against the surprise demands of pregnancy. Baby-crazy author and advocate Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) gets a taste of her own militant mommy advice when pregnancy hormones ravage her body; while Wendy's husband, Gary (Ben Falcone), struggles not to be outdone by his competitive alpha-Dad (Dennis Quaid), who's expecting twins with his much younger trophy wife, Skyler (Brooklyn Decker). {Wait a second…didn’t Quaid just have twins with his trophy wife??} Photographer Holly (Jennifer Lopez) is prepared to travel the globe to adopt a child, but her husband Nate (Rodrigo Santoro) isn't so sure, and tries to quiet his panic by attending a "dudes" support group, where new fathers get to tell it like it really is. {Holly and Nate? JLo and Rodrigo are "Holly" & "Nate"?} And rival food truck chefs Rosie (Anna Kendrick) and Marco's (Chace Crawford) surprise hook-up results in an unexpected quandary: what to do when your first child comes before your first date?
What to Expect When You’re Expecting was written by Shauna Cross (Whip It), Heather Hach (Freaky Friday) and opens May 11 in the US and 18th May in the UK.
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