Russell Brand Unfollows Katy Perry on Twitter

You know, when I heard those rumors that Russell Brand sent Katy Perry an email after he saw her at the 2012 Coachella with that dude from that band, I KNEW they were not true. I mean, come on. This is a man who is stone-cold sober and knows what he's doing.
Today we acknowledge that there is no way in hell he is begging her to come back or that filing for divorce was the biggest mistake of his life: he has unfollowed her on Twitter. Is there any other proof required? That's right, there's not. If you ever need questions answered people, turn to social media. It's there. It might be subtle, but it's there.
Mind you, IF those email rumors are true (and we know they aren't) maybe she rejected him and he said screw you! Or maybe it just freaking occurred to him that he hadn't unfollowed her ass.
Either way: my plan is coming together. He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine. Send condoms. Thank you.
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