Despite a testosterone saturated cast including Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum, Michael Angarano, Michael Douglas and Bill Paxton, Steven Soderbergh’s Haywire is really all about Gina Carano’s Mallory. Carano plays freelance black ops super solider Mallory Kane who is hired out by her handler to various global entities to perform jobs which governments can't authorize and heads of state would rather not know about. After a mission to rescue a hostage in Barcelona, Mallory is quickly dispatched on another mission to Dublin. When the operation goes awry and Mallory finds she has been double crossed, she needs to use all of her skills, tricks and abilities to escape an international manhunt, make it back to the United States, protect her family, and exact revenge on those that have betrayed her. (I think I want to be her when I grow up.)

Helllloooo… She got paid for sitting on Michael Fassbender like that? I still think she killed him wayyyyy too fast. They’re both fully clothed fer… but I digress (and that’s not a spoiler, it’s in the trailers. Yell at them.)

Just in time to dope-slap January into getting its lethargic post-Holiday, mid-Winter blahhhed ass in gear, Haywire opens in the UK on 18th January and in the US on January 20.

Check out the new tv spot, clips and pics below.

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Or maybe it was the best, depending on your perspective. I don't judge. Seriously, poor Michael Fassbender. It’s a good thing he had four (that's right four) other high profile roles this year, including one for which there’s loud whispering of an Oscar nomination (Shame), or else he might not live down having his ass kicked by a girl. In the second trailer for Steven Soderbergh’s Haywire, Fassbender doesn’t just get it kicked…he gets it completely, thoroughly, bone-crunchingly trounced. I suppose he can take additional comfort in the fact that the kicker is accomplished MMA fighter, Gina Carano.

It's been over a month since we talked about Haywire so I’m excited we’re getting something new. We’ve already had the trailer for Safe today, but if you’re jonesing for another good actioner, I think this is gonna fit the bill nicely. (Now that would be a double feature!)

Haywire – Trailer #2 [VO|HD] by cinemakervideo

Despite it’s overly testosterone saturated cast, including Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Channing Tatum, Michael Angarano, Michael Douglas and Bill Paxton, Haywire is really all about Gina Carano’s Mallory. Carano plays a black ops super soldier seeking payback after she is betrayed and set up during a mission. (My question is, did she get a charge out of sitting on Michael Fassbender?)

Haywire opens January 20. Below are some pics of Fassy at the Variety screening for Shame in LA on Wed. Nov. 9. "Oh the shark bites, with his teeth dear…"

"Ignore that guy in the background," as Modern Family star, Sofia Vergara, 39, strikes a pose tall and centre while attending the Monika Chiang LA Store Opening on Robertson Boulevard in Los Angeles, CA on October 10, 2011.  Sofia is the toast of the event in this simple, yet elegant, black body hugging dress with black and gold clutch and gold band bracelet.  (Try saying that five times.)   And to think that when Sofia was first starting out in Hollywood, she was told to lose weight.  Hah! Look who's smiling now!

Accompanied by his gorgeous wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, 42, it's nice to see actor Michael Douglas, 67, looking the picture of perfect health when they attended the Santa Barbara International Film Festival (SBIFF) last night where he was presented with the Kirk Douglas Award for Excellence in Film by none other than his Dad, Kirk Douglas.  Catherine sparkled in a beaded chiffon purple shift with gold strappy shoes with jewel-encrusted clutch.  Michael is equally dazzling in his black single-breasted evening suit.  And the only accessory he needs, is lovely Catherine.

Showing off her post-baby figure, and rightfully so, is Jessica Alba, when she attended the Giorgio Armani/Vanity Fair private dinner in Los Angeles, California on October 11, 2011.  Jessica, 30, kept it simple but elegant in black trousers and black shirt topped with white blazer, accessorized with snake skin clutch and shoes.  And the just right amount of gold jewelry completes the look.  No matter the occasion, Jessica knows how to nail it.   Hey ladies, to get her look, visit ehow.com.

Meanwhile, across the pond Aussies invade Buckingham Palace.   The Queen held the A-list bash prior to her leaving next week for an 11-day tour of Australia to open a meeting of Commonwealth leaders.  However, out of the 300+ plus who attended, two undeniably stood out the most.  Elle MacPherson, 47, (aka – and understandably – "The Body") was sleek and sexy in this blush-coloured Donna Karan number with matching handbag and pumps.  (Hmm … I'm not sure who should be the one to curtsey.  Elle or the Queen?)   In any event, Elle looks like she could be on her Majesty's Secret Service.   So I only have one question to ask … when are they going to make this woman a Bond Girl???  But ladies, also looking very 007-ish was Hugh Jackman, 43, who was quite dashing in his dark blue suit and striped tie, whom I'm sure even had the Queen feeling weak in the knees.  (Come on, Liz.  Admit it.  You know he's a keeper.)   Come to think of it, if they made Hugh Jackman the next Bond, wouldn't Elle MacPherson make a great Bond Girl?  Just sayin'.

Also looking fabulous in London, UK are model Kimora Lee, 36, and her husband, actor and model, Djimon Hounsou, 47, who attended the PUMA Creative Catalyst Awards at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Hyde Park, London, on October 11, 2011.  The 36-year-old supermodel and mother of three is stunning in this little black number.  Kimora likes wearing LBDs to events.  However, this is the cutest little black dress I've seen her in.  And don't you just love the scalloped embellishment?  Not sure who the designer is, but I'm pretty sure it's not from the Baby Phat collection.  (No offence.)   And let's not forget her dapper hubby, Djimon who is equally stunning in black with black tie.   Don't they make a fabulous couple!

Definitely the most glamorous wedding guest on the list, Kate Moss, 37, attended Paul McCartney's wedding to Nancy Shevell on Sunday, October 9.  Kate wore a shimmering Lanvin metallic sheath and black stilettos with black leather clutch and kept the look classic with minimal make-up and hair pulled back.  It reminds me of how Kate looked when she first started modelling.  She appears quite content in this photo.  And it wasn't too long ago that she was also a bride.  Hmm … looks like married life is agreeing with her.  I hope so.

The most famous mother-in-law on the planet, Carole Middleton, 56, along with her husband attended a dance event in London on October 11, in aid of the British Red Cross.   The Duchess of Cambridge's mother was elegant as always dressed in a black dress and white jacket by Catherine Walker.  However, regardless of any event she attends, perhaps her most famous accessories are her toned legs.  It's easy to see where Catherine and Pippa get their good looks from.   Carole has even mastered the art of exiting a car in the most dignified and graceful manner possible.   (Perhaps that's because she knows the paparazzi are lurking about!)  

And last, but definitely not least, model and actress, Andie MacDowell, 53, attends a photocall to celebrate McDonalds-Germany's up-and-coming 40th Birthday and to support their 'Helping Hand' charity in Berlin, Germany, on October 14, 2011.  Andie is sizzling in this red hot dress and red is definitely her color.  I love how it contrasts with her hair.  While in her teens, Andie worked at McDonalds.  But something tells me she's now far removed from snacking on burgers and fries.

That's it for another week, readers.   Hope you enjoyed this week's picks.  What are your picks?  (My pick for this week:  Kimora Lee.)   Drop us a line and see you next week!

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Michael Douglas and wife Catherine Zeta Jones arriving at Heathrow Airport

Michael Douglas kicked cancer’s ass.  Then his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones took on Bipolar II Disorder, and she’s beating it too.  While at Donna Karan’s charity initiative, the Urban Zen Stephan Weiss Apple Awards, in NYC Michael told  In Touch that she’s in great condition.

Catherine Zeta-Jones Has Checked Out of Mental Facility

“She’s great!” he said. “She’s down in Miami doing Rock of Ages, the musical, so she’s doing great!”

The loving couple will be spending a nice summer with their kids, Dylan, 10, and Carys, 8, of course.

“Just the same as we always do,” Michael tells In Touch of the family’s summer plans. “We go to Spain!”

I love this family and I love seeing them sticking together through these intense life challenges.  Enjoy the trip you guys!

Photo: Benross/WENN

What fabulous news! This morning portions of Matt Lauer’s interview with Michael Douglas will be shown on The Today Show where he will tell Matt: “the tumor is gone,” and “I’ve got [cancer] beat”.

Michael Douglas Set To Finish Cancer Treatment This Week

Michael Douglas Looks Great in the Land of Harry Potter

The full interview will be aired on Sunday, January 23 during Dateline NBC where Michael confirms starring in Liberace later this year.  He is confident his health will remain good when he tells Lauer:

I think the odds are with the tumor gone and what I know about this particular type of cancer that I’ve got it beat.”

At the end of August, 2010 Michael was diagnosed with Stage IV throat cancer and underwent a rigorous eight week treatment of both chemotherapy and radiation.

Isn’t that incredible news? Our congratulations and best wishes to Michael and his family.

Photo:  WENN

This is a very happy post for me.  I love, love, love Michael Douglas and ever since he was diagnosed with throat cancer, my heart has been hurting for him and the family.  So seeing him with his gorgeous wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones and their two kids on the Flight of the Hippogriff roller coaster at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando Resort makes my heart happy.

Michael Douglas Set To Finish Cancer Treatment This Week

Michael Douglas Discusses Cancer Diagnosis With David Letterman

It was a great family day and you can see the joy in all of their faces.  There is nothing better than that feeling.  They enjoyed some Butterbeer, got fitted for wands at Ollivanders and toured Hogwarts Castle as part of their visit.  Sounds like a blast to me!  I am just getting into Harry Potter…  yes,  I am a little behind, but I’d love to check out this park!

Photos: Universal Orlando/Matt Stroshane

Michael Douglas is going to be having his last round of chemotherapy and radiation this week for his throat cancer according to his publicist Allen Burry

“No further treatments are scheduled after this week. He’s really happy about it ending. He was determined not to have a feeding tube, and he didn’t have to have one.”

Michael Douglas Discusses Cancer Diagnosis With David Letterman

Despite undergoing the treatment for eight weeks, the 66 year old Michael Douglas continued life as normally as possible and can be seen taking his daughter to school on Friday. If you think about it, that’s pretty impressive.

There is also word that he may stop making films altogether.  A source told the Sun Newspaper (not sure how legitimate this publication or the source is):

“This is a man in the middle of a gigantic fight, and he wants to conserve his energy and resources. If he beats this, he intends to focus on spending time with his family. He looks like he has aged 10 years in weeks.”

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps Premieres in New York

We wish Michael a speedy and complete recovery.

Click on thumbnails to enlarge

Photos:  WENN

Michael Douglas and his wife Catherine Zeta Jones attended last night’s New York premiere of Wall Street 2:  Money Never Sleeps despite the actor battling stage IV throat cancer and undergoing chemotherapy and radiation.  That’s quite remarkable, isn’t it?

His co-star Shia LaBeouf talked about how working with the acting legend was surreal:

“He’s got a nice way of easing everybody’s tensions,”  ”When you walk onto a set like this, where it’s sacred ground, there’s a legacy at stake. But your mascot puts you at ease.”

And despite what Michael is going through, Shia learned about strength the most from him:

“He is a wolf, and he is a strong man,” he said. “And I know of his vulnerabilities. When he came to set … he was dealing with a lot, but never was it, ‘Woe is me.’ Ever.”

[Douglas has] “a face they’re going to paint on walls,” “They’re going to remember him forever. You can’t say that about a lot of people. He’s an American institution. It’s intimidating and incredible and exhilarating and rewarding.”

Michael didn’t speak with any reporters at the premiere but his other costar Josh Brolin (dear lord isn’t he incredibly gorgeous?) said Michael was:

“doing as well as can be expected. I think the fact that the guy’s coming out here in the first place is a testament to who he is, to his character … He’s not hiding, and I think that’s great.”

Pictures of the celebrities at the premiere after the break.

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