Sarah Palin can't be bothered to run for President (not that it would matter much) because she's too busy trying to land a reality show deal. Her last reality show Sarah Palin's Alaska didn't make it (it was super boring all they did was fish) so she's trying something new: pitching her husband Todd as the star. This time we get to see him snowmobile all around Alaska. That sounds rather gripping, yes? Actually he is a championship snowmobile racer. Who knew that sport even existed?

Sarah and TV mogul Mark Burnett (you may know him from a little show called Survivor) are shopping the show around networks and are apparently asking in the same neighbourhood as her last reality show: $1 million per episode. Nobody is interested. While a reality show about snowmobiling does sound rather boring, don't they have a reality show about 18 wheelers traveling up icy mountains or something to that effect? I guess that's a bit more gripping than Mr. Sarah Palin tooling around in a snowmobile.

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Back on September 23 we reported that Bristol Palin was at a bar where she was riding a mechanical bull and some heckler called her mother a whore to which she confronted the 47 year old Stephen Hanks.

He has now had a chance to sober up and reflect on his behaviour and issued the following apology to Bristol:

"Having had an opportunity to view the camera footage of the incident this past Thursday at the Saddle Ranch Bar & Chop House in West Hollywood, and having reflected on the incident over the weekend, I have come to the conclusion that no matter what my feelings are towards Sarah Palin, I should not have expressed them towards her daughter, Bristol Palin,"

"I am very passionate about politics, and believe in equality for all Americans," Hanks continued. "I expressed my feelings in an improper manner in the heat of the moment and allowed my emotions to get the better of me. My political views are solely mine, and not those of my friends, colleagues or the establishment for which I work. I apologize to them for my poor judgment that night, and to Bristol for any hurt my actions may have caused her. I wish Bristol success with her television show, and much happiness in the future."

Apparently Stephen was receiving death threats for his tirade against Sarah Palin but in addition to that so did his family and his dog. Serious bitches it's bad enough when someone issues a death threat, but to issue it to an innocent dog pisses my lady parts off.

Either way the dude was wrong to confront her like that. If he has an issue with her mother, keep it with her. Bristol is not responsible for her mother or her actions.

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While I don't care for Sarah Palin (or politics in general) I can't say I blame Bristol Palin for confronting the heckler dude who called her mom a whore after she was riding a mechanical bull at the Saddle Ranch on the Sunset Strip last night.

I mean how dare he. It's so typical that a woman gets attacked either for her looks or for being a whore. When are we going to be applauded for being whores. That takes skills dammit and not everyone can be a whore. Seriously though, if this man has a beef with Sarah Palin he should confront her, not her daughter, Bristol. 

But he didn't just attack Sarah Palin, as Bristol was riding the mechanical bull he shouted:

"Did you ride Levi like that?"

What a crass pig. And then he attacked her mom not only calling her a whore but evil.  After she got off the bull and confronted him she asked him:

"Is it because you're a homosexual and that's why you hate her?"

He confirmed yes and then asked her why she asked that to which she replied:

"Because I can tell you are."

I don't know enough about Sarah Palin's politics to know how being homosexual factors into this but either way it was just really all uncalled for. I think all things considered (and not including the homosexual reference) Bristol really kept calm and handled herself really well. She kept asking him why her mom was evil. 

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Insert laugh here. Levi Johnston believes that almost mother-in-law Sarah Palin had a 'Cougar Crush' on him. Keep in mind he never thought that until his publisher told him she had one. This guy is a genius. Looking back:

"Even growing up my friends would always say that [Palin would flirt with him], it seems kind of weird. Then one of my publishers said she had a cougar crush on me!"

"I guess I'd say, 'Yeah, I think she did.' Now looking back and remembering what everyone said. She never touched me or anything like that! Now it kind of weirds me out thinking about it," he says.

Clearly Levi thinks for himself, no?

Me: Hey Levi, that's a lovely vagina you have there.

Levi: Really? I thought it was a penis?

Me: No, it's a vagina. I'm certain of it.

Levi: Yeah, I guess you're right. Looking back it makes sense. A lot of people called me a pussy so it must be a vagina.

Idiot.

Track Palin Wedding

Sarah Palin’s oldest son, Track who is 22, tied the knot with his high school sweetheart, Britta Hanson in an intimate ceremony in Hatcher Pass, Alaska.

Bristol Palin Scores Reality Show With Kyle Massey

“Our families couldn’t be happier!” the Hansons and Palins told PEOPLE. “These are two hard working, humble, active, studious young adults who grew up together. We’re tickled that after two decades of friendship we proudly witnessed their marriage, knowing their new life together will be blessed.”

The happy couple is planning to have a big ceremony to celebrate this winter at a ski resort up there “when extended family and friends from the Lower 48 can travel north for a long ski weekend.”

Now that’s what I call a great wedding!  One that involves a ski resort and some snowboarding!  How cool!  This should be a new trend!

Nobody was interested in seeing his junk in Playgirl, so Levi Johnston is hoping to win people over with his words. Levi is set to write a family tell all that will shed light on his time with the Palins. As you know, Levi is the baby daddy Tripp, the child he fathered with Bristol Palin. And we all know how Bristol’s momma is, right?

I suspect it will either be a very short story or will come with lovely pictures he coloured himself with his pack of crayons. I would suggest he jacked them from his son, but I don’t think he sees his son much.

Bristol Palin Offered Radio Co-Hosting Job In Phoenix

Bristol Plain Buys Home. Pays CASH

Touchstone Publishers is releasing the book this fall, aptly entitled Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. Levi’s intentions are nothing short of pure as he states:

“I want to tell the truth about my close relationship with the Palins,” Johnston, 20, says in a statement released by his publisher. “My sense of Sarah and my perplexing fall from grace – how I feel and what I’ve learned.”

Johnston adds: “I’m doing this for me, for my boy Tripp and for the country.”

Sure you are. I can’t imagine anything he writes about Sarah Palin shocking the country at this point. Who knows though, right? She may be a dominatrix for all we know.

Would you read this book?