At first glance, I was like not a chance in hell.  BUT, then I gave this a little more thought.  Charlie Sheen has completely gone off the deep end, and I really don’t see him making his way back to the other side.  Not anytime soon anyhow.  So when Spencer Pratt puts himself out there as a possible candidate to be Sheen’s new publicist, you can’t assume that won’t actually happen.

Stan Rosenfield was barely out the door after quitting/getting fired and Pratt was on the ball, offering his services to Sheen, for FREE.

He told TMZ,

“I want to be Charlie Sheen’s new publicist…. I am offering to be his media point man and that I have great contacts with media outlets and will work for free just to be part of his ‘WINNING TEAM’.”

Charlie Sheen Interview With 20/20 Plus He PASSED A Drug Test

That is about the worst idea in the world and that is why I wouldn’t be shocked in the least if Charlie went for it.  He is a glutton for this kind of chaos.  Why shouldn’t he take on Pratt?  OMG.  I actually hope he does.  Can you imagine what will ensue?  Oh the stories.

Charlie Sheen and Spencer Pratt.  Never in a million years would I have put these two together.  But now, it makes sense.  Scary, right?

Photo: KOKOPIX/WENN

OMG.  Are you kidding me?  I thought that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt had stepped OUT of the spotlight.  I was wrong.  So very wrong.

Heidi and Spencer Living With His Parents

RadarOnline is reporting that Heidi is in the works to join the cast of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.’

Heidi and Spencer met with the executives yesterday to discuss details.  And well, I think it’s going to happen.

“We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat,” Spencer told Radar. “We would be psyched if this happened for us.”

What do you think?  Am I overreacting?  Is this a good thing?  How will Heidi handle the “big girls” on the show?  I kind of think they will eat her alive.  Hmmmm… this could be a very good thing after all.

Photo: WENN

So we know that Heidi Montag’s mom, Darlene Egelhoff lost her restaurant from the lack of tourists in the poor economy.  But what we didn’t know is that before the business went belly up, Darlene asked Heidi for help,

The Real Story Behind The Speidi Divorce

“The restaurant was struggling, and I was crying on the phone,” Egelhoff recounts. “I fought it for so long, but finally, I said, ‘Tax guys are on the way. It’s $8,000.’ Heidi very generously wired me a check that day. That kept the restaurant afloat for at least six months. It was so generous and helpful.”

Wow.  I find that refreshing.  Heidi isn’t completely heartless.  She does still love her mom! I wonder if Spencer knew about it?  Darlene is still cleaning houses, trying to make ends meet,

“The work is sporadic and competitive,” Egelhoff says. “My work is not enough to pay the bills. We need other work immediately. [My son] Sky is eligible for free lunch at school and is proud to take advantage of it.”

Heidi Montag’s Mom, Darlene Egelhoff Working as a Maid

Well, Darlene seems like a great person and a loving mother.  I really hope things turn around for her and the family soon.  The economy has hurt a lot of people.

Photo: WENN

So you know how yesterday we found out about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt‘s financial woes that are about to have them filing for bankruptcy? Well that is totally connected to their “divorce” that never went through.

Their whole fake separation and divorce was done in an attempt to do a show for British TV, ITV.  The execs wanted to do a reality show, covering their messy split.  That’s why Speidi fronted the cash and went down to Costa Rica, where the whole show fell through. That’s why they called off the divorce.

Heidi Montag Heads to Hustler

“The divorce was real — just the idea behind it was different than most people’s,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “Divorcing was the only way to keep Heidi’s career going because everyone hated me so much. Look at Sandra Bullock — her divorce from Jesse James was the best thing to happen to her image.  I can’t make regular money because I was playing such an unlikeable character on TV to keep my checks coming. Who wants to hire the jerk from The Hills?”

Did he just compare his wife to Sandra Bullock?  This all makes complete sense.  Are they totally insane?  Yes.  But this is so very Speidi!  How did we not put these obvious pieces together already?!

Photo: Chris Connor /WENN

This is the most reality that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have ever experienced. The fame obsessed couple have lost a lot.  Is it their fault?  Absolutely.  And they are even admitting it.  So how did they manage to blow $10 million anyhow?  Here’s the breakdown:

- $35,000 per month Malibu rental

-$3 million on Heidi’s music career

-Heidi surgeries and post op care

-6 cars

-Spencer’s healing crystals

-private jets

They currently owe $2 million in taxes.  Ouch.  That hurts.  So will the IRS be coming after them soon?  Who knows.  I imagine so.  But I am sure that they will get some huge extension and avoid any true punishment.

Heidi Montag Heads to Hustler

The “homeless” couple spoke with Life & Style,

“We were immature, worrying too much about the famous part instead of the actual business part.  In hindsight, we shouldn’t have spent any of our money. We should have been low-key and saved.  We spoke with a bankruptcy attorney and I’ve looked into unemployment checks.”

Unemployment checks?!  Um no.  How about a J.O.B. Spencer.

“We thought The Hills was going to be like 90210 and we’d have another five to 10 years,” Spencer says. “The ratings were consistent. But we never saw Jersey Shore coming. Before, TV audiences were fine with seeing us all argue, but now they want you to punch one another in the face and hook up with three different people. Our cast was a bit boring and snoozeworthy in comparison. No wonder we got canceled.”

Heidi Montag’s Mom, Darlene Egelhoff Working as a Maid

Now that is one way to look at it.  Kind of sad but true.  I’d rather watch The Hills any day.

“At our lowest point, I considered posing for nude pictures in Playboy.”

Her first spread wasn’t fully nude.  But Spencer’s parents talked her out of it, offering for them to live in their guest house.  Of course they took it.

“I feel like I’m 14 years old again,” Spencer says. “My parents are my lifeline.”

“Spencer’s parents go to the grocery store for us once a week,” Heidi says, “and that’s all we get.”

Yikes.  That’s a tad bit humbling.

“We don’t want sympathy,” Spencer said. “We did this to ourselves and feel like idiots. But we’ve grown up and are definitely not as naive anymore.”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard more mature words come out of Spencer’s mouth.  I hope that this “life lesson” is the beginning of a life change for these two.  It would be really nice not to have to cringe when I see their names in the headlines.

Photo: Chris Connor /WENN

Heidi Montag reminds me of “The Little Train That Could.”  She never gives up.  Should she?  Yes.  Will she?  No.  She’s bound and determined to become a super star/sex icon. Her first album was such a flop.  It only sold 1,000 copies in the first week of sales.  That’s really, really bad. But Spencer Pratt is the perfect cheerleading-fame-whore and the duo is somehow unstoppable.

Heidi Montag’s Mom, Darlene Egelhoff Working as a Maid

Heidi is getting ready to shoot a new music video Lord help us and she’s all but announced that she going to be all out slutty for the shoot as she Tweets,

“Going to Hustler strip club want to pick up some tips for my music video Ill do it that I am shooting next week.”

Heidi Montag Wants To Deflate Her Flotation Devices

Does Heidi really need Hustler girls coaching her?  OMG.  This is going to be a very scary video.  Will I watch it?  Or course! Talk about great material for writing!  Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are free game for bagging.  They beg for it and I more than willing to give it to them.  Bwahahaha.

Photo: DJDM /WENN

I  do not believe for one moment this is true.  There is no way Heidi Montag can say good-bye to her precious flotation devices affectionately known as her Double D’s.

According to the cover of Life & Style Heidi says:

I’m removing my breast implants

Also claiming:

It ruined my life and my marriage

If her marriage to Spencer Pratt really is over (and I believe all of this crapola is for publicity purposes only) she ought to give thanks to those two bouncing balls.

Personally I would build a shrine and honour them regularly throughout the day by lighting candles and chanting.  You know, like Julia Roberts does *cough*.

But that’s just me.

And even if she DOES remove them, the next cover will be, ‘boo hoo hoo, I miss my chesticles’.

Do you believe her?

I love Heidi but our marriage was a show – it was part of The Hillsworld,” Pratt said Friday. “And that world is on a sound stage.”

“It’s clear that reality TV-fame-loving Spencer Pratt does not fit with my ex-wife Heidi Montag’s ambitions for a motion picture actor/pop star career and being a single sex symbol for the world.”

“Some say if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen, Well, Heidi couldn’t handle King Spencer’s fame so she got out of the marriage.”

…..Spencer Pratt stating the obvious & speaking in the third person.  I think even the divorce is to feed their fame whoreness.  Now that’s a steaming hot sexy kiss, no?  *Barf*