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The Expendables Are Coming Back to F*%k You Up

The Expendables Are Coming Back to F*%k You Up

This time it's personal: In The Expendables 2, Mr. Church (Bruce Willis- who seems to be the current ‘go to’ guy when an aging action hero is required. I say that even though The Expendables 2 is full of aging action heroes. Willis also has Red and GI Joe: Retaliation on his recent resume)  reunites Barney Ross (Stallone) and the rest of the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of his men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.

The Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory where the odds are stacked against them. Hell-bent on payback, the crew cuts a swath of destruction through opposing forces, wreaking havoc and shutting down an unexpected threat in the nick of time – six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium; enough to change the balance of power in the world. But that’s nothing compared to the justice they serve against the villainous adversary who savagely murdered their brother. That is done the Expendables way….

But really…do we care what it’s about? Are we looking for plot intricacies and character nuance from this band of lean, mean fighting machines? As long as they’re prepared to kick ass, take names and blow some sh*t up, I could not care less. Throw in a couple of gratuitious shots of Jason Statham and they really don’t even have to talk. Perhaps these master thespians could take a cue from The Artist?

Led once again by Stallone’s Barney Ross, Statham’s Lee Christmas and anyone who didn’t die in the first one, the crew includes Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger (who’s really hoping this will make you forget he’s a classless scumbag and has had his role expanded) who are joined by Chuck Norris, whose invitation to the last gig must have gotten lost in the mail, or he was on his Total Gym and couldn’t get up to answer the phone. How the hell did Jean Claude Van Damme miss out on the opportunity to do some ‘van-damage’ (sorry, I had to) last time out? Liam Hemsworth, fresh from the Hunger Games joins the party, but he’s not on the poster. His character is Bill “The Kid” Timmins. So it’s not Ross, but something tells me he’ll turn out to be Barney’s long lost son. As I said before, could be worse. Could be Taylor Lautner. In any case, the rest of the cast includes Terry Crewes, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Scott Adkins, Dolph Lundgren and Charisma Carpenter (So I guess Lacy forgave Lee? Or does she get kidnapped or tied to the railroad tracks?)

Check out the new pics below. There’s a bloody Scott Adkins, a bald and brooding Van Damme and Lundgren with a very big knife and a bad attitude. then check out the comic promo art from the film's Facebook page.

Directed by Simon West (Con Air, The Mechanic), The Expendables 2 opens August 17 in the US and the UK.

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My What a Big Gun You Have Mr. Statham!

My What a Big Gun You Have Mr. Statham!

A new poster has dropped for Safe, the Boaz Yakin directed Jason Statham action-adventure remake of Mercury Rising…no not really. It just seems like it. Now ask me if I care…it’s The Stath being all Stath-y! I know exactly what I’ll be buying a ticket for and it won’t be plot nuance or character development. It’ll be that big gun…

The official Lionsgate synopsis:

"Mei (Catherine Chan) is a 10 year-old Chinese math prodigy who is abducted from her home in Nanjing by the Triads; she is sent to America by the Triad Leader Han Jiao (James Hong), where she will serve as a “counter” for their extortion racquets. No computers, no paper trails – she keeps all the numbers in her head. One year later, Mei’s new adopted “father” Chang (Reggie Lee) brings her along to count the numbers as he shakes-down his business operations.

Luke Wright (Jason Statham) is a second rate cage fighter in the mixed martial arts circuit in New Jersey. When he blows a rigged fight, the Russian mafia make an example of him – murdering his wife and threatening to kill anyone he forms any kind of friendship or relationship with. Now homeless, destitute and completely isolated from society, Luke wanders the streets of New York like a ghost, hovering on the edge of suicide.

Big things begin to stir in the city, when Triad boss Han Jiao appears in New York, and gives Mei a secret number to memorize; on her way to use this number for an unknown purpose, Mei is violently kidnapped from the Triads by the Russian Mafia, who want the information she now has in her head— as does the corrupt Captain Wolf (Robert John Burke) of the NYPD. Mei manages to escape, but she won’t be able to survive on her own for long.

Standing on a subway platform ready to throw himself under a train, Luke Wright sees the young and terrified Chinese girl being pursued by Russian thugs… he knows something is wrong, and he knows now he has to make a decision: continue on his downward spiral, or come back fighting in order to help a little girl he’s never even met. Luke comes back to life, forcing himself into violent action, and over the course of one harrowing night he tears a swath through the city’s underworld in order to save Mei’s life and redeem his own." 

Well! That sounds like fun! (Seriously, there are so many triggers in those paragraphs I don't know where to start…)

And…as if I needed another reason to look forward to Safe, Anson Mount, aka Cullen Bohannon, is in the thing! I’m sure I read that long ago, but as he wasn’t actually on my radar until AMC’s Hell on Wheels, it didn’t register.

By the way, Lionsgate has very sneakily moved the release date back yet again. Originally scheduled for October 2011, it was moved to March 2nd because Lionsgate's fall slated was "packed". Well, with no fanfare they've moved Safe to April 27 in the US and 11th May in the UK.

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poster at Collider


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What to Watch: New On DVD and Blu-Ray January 10,2012

Numbers are limited but there are a couple of heavy hitters in the lineup this week. (A couple of baseball metaphors, get it?) The biggest among them is of course, Bennett Miller’s Moneyball starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill and Philip Seymour Hoffman. While I wasn’t as blown away by this story of Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane's successful attempt to put together a baseball club on a budget by employing computer-generated analysis to draft his players as the critics have been, it is very entertaining. I'm a huge baseball fan and it's great fun to get a peak at the inner workings of the sport and what appear to an outsider as arbitrary decisions, especially since I remember some of the incidents portrayed in the film.  Moneyball has been nominated for 3 Golden Globes and it’s being billed as one of Brad Pitt’s greatest performances. I suppose that’s true and I will say that it is one of the few times I was able to forget I was watching Brad Pitt, world's sexiest DILF, and get into the character. I also have to say that I liked Jonah Hill’s performance because it was understated and unexpected. This is a very different Jonah Hill than you’re probably used to seeing.

I am, an unabashed Philip Seymour Hoffman fan. One of the reasons Hoffman is always so interesting to watch is that he always seems a powder keg just one spark away from blowing. One never knows whether to take his character at face value or not.

Here Hoffman is directed by his Capote director who guided him to a Best Actor Oscar. The words are by Steve Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Both pluses.

If sports films aren’t your thing, then don’t worry because the action thriller The Killer Elite (Jason Statham, Clive Owen, and Robert DeNiro) which we told you about last week, will also be available.

I suppose I should also let you know that the romantic comedy What’s Your Number? with Anna Faris, Chris Evans, and Ed Begly, Jr. is also out today. What you do with this information is up to you.

There are some direct to video titles out this week as well. Again, watch at your own peril. I can’t be held responsible for anything. Actually, I’m exaggerating. There are a couple of titles that may not have gotten a lot of attention, but are worth your time. You decide.

 -Scorpion King: Battle for Redemption (Billy Zane, Victor Webster, and Ron Perlman) Since his rise to power, Mathayus' kingdom has fallen. Now an assassin for hire, he must defend a kingdom from an evil tyrant and his ghost warriors for the chance to regain the power and glory he once knew.

-Higher Ground (Vera Farmiga, Joshua Leonard, and Dagmara Dominczyk ) Actually, this one I do recommend. It played a number of festivals to great acclaim and had an extremely limited run back in August. Not unusual for a small art-house film. Farmiga made her directorial debut with this story of the landscape of a tight-knit spiritual community thrown off-kilter when one of their own begins to question her faith. Inspired by screenwriter Carolyn S. Briggs' memoir “This Dark World”, the film tells the story of a thoughtful woman's struggles with belief, love, and trust – in human relationships as well as in God.

-There Be Dragons (Wes Bentley, Dougray Scott, and Charlie Cox) We told you about this one last summer after it played the Cannes Film Festival and I fully expected to see this story, billed as an epic portrayal of faith, forgiveness and redemption, in theaters. The synopsis: Arising out of the horror of the Spanish Civil War, a candidate for canonization is investigated by a journalist who discovers his own estranged father had a deep, dark and devastating connection to the saint's life.

It’s got a great pedigree. Along with Bentley, Scott and Cox, the film stars Olga Kurylenko, Rodrigo Santoro and Geraldine Chaplin. It was written, directed and produced by Roland Joffe (The Killing Fields, The Mission).

-An Idiot Abroad (Ricky Gervais, Karl Pilkington, and Stephen Merchant) A boxed set of the UK television series.

-Saints and Sinners (Sean Patrick Flannery and Tom Berenger) In the gritty New Orleans underbelly, beleaguered Detective Sean Riley (Johnny Strong – Black Hawk Down, The Fast and the Furious) is trying to cope with the death of his young son and his failed marriage. Facing a probable suspension from the department, Riley is teamed with a young homicide Detective, Will Ganz (Flannery), to help solve a series of brutal murders that have plunged the city into a major gang war. The two quickly realize there is something much bigger and far more sinister going on than either could have ever imagined.

There, now you have something to do over the weekend. (A long one for most of us here in the States.)

Chris Evans Asks "What's Your Number?"  Killer Elite DVD Details Revealed with a New Clip! 


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Killer Elite DVD Details Revealed with a New Clip!

Killer Elite DVD Details Revealed with a New Clip!

I talked up this tasty hyper testosterone buffet called Killer Elite a great deal last fall prior to its September 23rd release into US theaters. Critics didn’t much care for it, although audiences did seem to dig it enough to make it a modest hit. I am not ashamed to say I enjoyed it immensely. I didn’t exactly have to check my brain at the door, but it didn’t ask much from me and I didn’t ask much from it. I wanted to see Jason Statham and Clive Owen being all Jason Statham and Clive Owen with a side of Robert De Niro thrown in and I was not disappointed. I actually thought it was one of the smarter action-adventure yarns of the past few years.

Killer Elite, director Guy McKendry's macho-man extravaganza is the story of Danny Bryce (Jason Statham) ,a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service, who is forced into action when his mentor (Robert De Niro) is taken captive. His mission: kill three assassins dispatched by their cunning leader (Clive Owen). (Ahhh…one last chance to use that phrase. Happy New Year!)

The clip, which is actually in the movie, not part of the dvd special features, is called “The Team Chases a Witness”. That’s Dominic Purcell with the 70’s mop of hair and the porn ‘tache that rivals Clive Owen’s.

Killer Elite will be available on Blue-Ray Combo Pack with UltraViolet, DVD, On Demand and Digital Download beginning January 10.

Blu-Ray and DVD Bonus Features:

-Deleted/Extended Scenes

Blu-Ray Exclusive Bonus Features:

-UltraViolet: The revolutionary new way for consumers to collect movies and TV shows, put them in the cloud and stream instantly to computers, tablets and smart phones, currently available in the United States only.

-BD-Live: Access the BD-Live Center through your Internet-connected player to watch the latest trailers and more!

-Pocket Blu App: The groundbreaking pocket Blu app uses iPad, iPhone, iPod touch, Android, PC and Mac to work seamlessly with a network-connected Blu-ray player. Plus iPad and Android tablet owners can enjoy a new, enhanced edition of pocket Blu made especially to take advantage of the tablets' larger screen and high resolution display. Consumers will be able to browse through a library of Blu-ray content and watch entertaining extras on-the-go in a way that's bigger and better than ever before. pocket Blu offers advanced features such as:

-Advanced Remote Control: A sleek, elegant new way to operate your Blu-ray player. Users can navigate through menus, playback and BD-Live functions with ease.

-Video Timeline: Users can easily bring up the video timeline, allowing them to instantly access any point in the film.

-Mobile To-Go: Users can unlock a selection of bonus content with their Blu-ray discs to save to their device or to stream from anywhere there is a Wi-Fi network, enabling them to enjoy content on the go, anytime, anywhere.

-Browse Titles: Users will have access to a complete list of pocket Blu-enabled titles available and coming to Blu-ray Hi-Def. They can view free previews and see what additional content is available to unlock on their device.

Killer Elite stars Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Dominic Purcell,  Yvonne Strahovski, Ben Mendelsohn and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje.

I threw in a few pics of The Stath at a special screening of Killer Elite at Edwards AFB. I'm a giver.

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Holy Crap! The Expendables Are Coming to Kick Your Ass!

 

Holy Crap! The Expendables Are Coming to Kick Your Ass!

That’s right, all of them! The cast of The Expendables 2 have all been crammed onto this poster and they looked lean, mean and ready to eat glass or f**k you up. They’re back baby, the Godfathers of Action are back in action(now, don’t be mean and call them the Grandfathers. The Stath would have something to say about that I’m sure). Led once again by Sylvester Stallone as Barney Ross, Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, anyone who didn’t die in the first one is back for round two. The cameos by Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger (who’s really hoping this will make you forget he’s a classless scumbag) have, this go-round, been expanded into costarring roles.

They’re joined by Chuck Norris, whose invitation to the last gig must have gotten lost in the mail, or he was on his Total Gym and couldn’t get up to answer the phone. How the hell did Jean Claude Van Damme miss out on the opportunity to do some ‘van-damage’ (sorry, I had to) last time out? We’ve also got an Expendable female, relative unknown, Nan Yu. She looks ready to throw down. Liam Hemsworth, fresh from the Hunger Games joins the party, but he’s not on the poster. I hope that doesn’t mean he plays someone’s (Stallone’s) kid or something clichéd like that. Coulda been worse, coulda been Taylor Lautner.

The plot, which was apparently devised before the first one was even released, is currently under a veil of secrecy, but seriously, does it even matter? If you buy a ticket to this and expect exposition, character development and a cohesive storyline, you’re in the wrong theater. The first one was great fun, but I’ll be van-damned if I can tell you what it was about.

The Expendables 2 blasts its way into theaters all over the world on August 17


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Jason Statham Is Coming to Kick Your Ass! Watch: First Trailer for Safe!

First Poster for Jason Statham's Safe!

“You got some balls Luke.”

“Yeah, amazing I can even walk.”

Luke is Jason Statham so yeah…nuf said. The movie is Safe, directed by Boaz Yakin. We told you about this one way back in August when the first poster was released and then we got some stills at the beginning of September and I’ve been waiting with baited breath for this trailer ever since.  Let’s just say it looks like Statham is back in top form after what some considered to be a lackluster outing in Killer Elite. (For the record I am not one of them. I liked it.)

The synopsis: A former elite agent takes on a two-tier mission: rescue a Chinese girl who's been abducted by the Triads, then use a safe combination to outwit the Russian Mafia, corrupt NYC officials, and the Triads themselves.

Well! Doesn’t that look like fun! Seriously I’m all for a good action movie with a great story, but I don't even care what it's about as long as 'The Stath' is involved and gets to be all…'Stath-y'. Do you? Didn't think so.

Written by the director Boaz Yakin (Fresh, A Price Above Rubies, Remember the Titans), Safe costars Chris Sarandon (score! He doesn't work nearly enough), James Hong, Robert John Burke and Anson Mount (AMC’s “Hell on Wheels”).

Here's the bad news. Lionsgate had originally scheduled this for a late October release, but it was just announced, due to their already packed fall slate (so packed they had to pass on domestic distribution of Marc Forster's Machine Gun Preacher to Relativity. Don’t get me started.), they are pushing it back to March 2, 2012. Well, at least it's not the dreaded January so they must still have some faith in it and just don't want it to get lost. 


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