"Fire those things that go BANG!”

This is the second trailer for The Pirates! Band of Misfits, and I’m already hooked. This looks like so much fun. I think Hugh Grant has his best role since Four Weddings and a Funeral. Even if he’s only animated, his natural Hugh-Grantness comes through loud and clear. This film is being distributed in the US by Sony Animation, but it's been produced by the makers of Wallace & Grommit and Chicken Run (just so you know what to expect in terms of stop-motion 'claymation'), Aardman Studios, who are also responsible for Arthur Christmas.

Pirate Captain (Grant) sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy (Jeremy Pivan) and Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayak) for the Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London, where they meet Charles Darwin (David Tennant) among others. In the UK, this movie was called The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists. Apparently that was too much for us eedjits here on these shores. Whatever it's called, it looks like bloody great fun. I love that they’re using a cover of “Cum On Feel the Noize” under the trailer.

Other great character actors providing voices include Brendan Gleeson as Pirate with Gout, Martin Freeman as Pirate with Scarf, Imelda Staunton as Queen Victoria and Ashley Jensen as Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate. The Pirates! Band of Misfits opens in the UK on 28 March and in the US on March 30.

Doesn’t that sound salacious? Like it belongs on a calendar full of cheesecake photos? Well, that’s not quite what we have here. The American Film Institute has been holding its annual AFI Festival and so there have been quite a few red carpets spread out upon which some very nice gentleman have stepped in the past few nights.

Leonardo Di Caprio, Armie Hammer (doesn’t he just look like he’d make the perfect Prince Charming? His movie now has a title, by the way. Tarsem Singh’s unnamed Snow White Project is now called Mirror, Mirror) as well as director Clint Eastwood all showed up for the premiere of J. Edgar.

Antonio Banderas appeared at the tribute to his friend and frequent director Pedro Almodovar. Not crazy about the haircut, but those eyes still get me.

Jeremy Piven, Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe (who must have a slowly degrading portrait locked in his attic) turned up for a screening of I Melt With You. And Dominic Cooper represented the Y chromosomes for My Week with Marilyn.

Saving the best for last, we have Michael Fassbender and Ewan McGregor who brought the sexy to the stage and sat for a Q & A with director Steven Soderbergh and costar Gina Carrano after the “sneak” screening of Haywire. And then Ralph Fiennes (sadly sans Gerard Butler) showed them both what they have to look forward to in a few years, at the AFI screening of his directorial debut, Coriolanus. (Call me crazy but I love that he was having a bad hair day. Those eyes!)

Enjoy the pics!

There's this crazy new movie with Rob Lowe, Thomas Jane and Jeremy Piven that I just heard about. It's called I Melt with You and at first blush might seem like a darker version of The Hangover or Very Bad Things, but there's something more at work here. (Director Mark Pellington did a great movie a few years ago called Arlington Road with Jeff Bridges and Tim Robbins that predated 9/11 by two years. It was scary then, it's downright freaky now. Since then he's only done a couple of features (The Mothman Prophecies, Henry Poole Was Here) and has been toiling in the land of music videos.) I watched the trailer for the first time the other day and tried to dismiss it but I can't. It's stayed with me.

The premise is simple: four 40-something college friends meet up for their annual reunion and things start to spiral out of control. The trailer is truly red band and not suitable for work, filled as it is with drugs, drinking and driving,  Consider the boys from The Hangover a decade older and more lost…just plain more everything. 

Check it out below. We've also got a few stills as well.

I Melt with You also stars Christian McKay, Carla Gugino. Sasha Grey and Tom Bower. It had a successful screening at  Sundance last January and will finally get a limited US release on December 9.

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British funnyman Ricky Gervais has joined on the do the voice of the spy dog, Argonaut, in the fourth Spy Kids franchise: Spy Kids: All The Time in the World.

According to EW this instalment features Jeremy Piven, Jessica Alba and Joel McHale. Gervais says of the role:

“Not only am I lending my voice toSpy Kids, but they can keep it. I’m sick of it.”

The film is written and directed by hunky Robert Rodriguez and will be in theatres in August where, naturally, it’s in 3D.

Do you like the Spy Kids’ franchise? Will you be seeing number 4? Believe it or not I’ve not even seen one of them!

Photo: WENN

Now this is a replacement I can get behind. Although I don’t think there is any replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men, it is clear that Charlie isn’t coming back. Not only is he not welcome, he isn’t interested.

But the thought of Jeremy Piven to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men is one replacement that makes sense. There have been talks of Jerry O’Connell and others (they are so memorable I can’t even remember who) but Jeremy Piven has the douche-factor down pat and would suit the role totally.

The question is, can he juggle Two and A Half Men and Entourage? Perhaps he will cut down on his role in Entourage? That would be a shame because he really makes the show pop.

A source close to the Two and A Half Men situation told Radar Online exclusively:

“Jeremy is a great actor and a hot commodity, his name has come up a couple of times in talks about who, if anybody, could step into Charlie’s shoes.

What do you think? Should Two and A Half Men just go away, or should they try it with Jeremy Piven as a replacement?

Radar is also reporting, however, that CBS President and CEO Les Moonves is trying to talk Warner Brothers into forgiving and forgetting the Charlie Sheen drama and getting the dude back to the show!

Keep in mind, reps for Jeremy say they haven’t heard squat about an offer:

No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy.”

It will be very interesting to see how this all pans out. What do you think should happen with Two and A Half Men?

Photo: Beiny/Fu/WENN

Whitney Houston leaves a medical centre on Bedford in Beverly Hills.  How she is able to see through her hair I have no idea.

Jeremy Piven is seen outside the Newsroom Cafe in Los Angeles

Lindsay Lohan rocks a headband at Paris Fashion Week watching the Kenzo show front and centre.  First leg warmers, now headbands.  It’s all starting to make sense.

Kelly Bensimon shops in SoHo after having bought a laptop at Apple.  Lucky bitch.

Brooke Shields is at Paris Fashion Week attending the Giambattista Valli show

Click on thumbnails to enlarge

Photos: Anthony Dixon/  WENN